Before the urge of rest overpower all my other senses, I would like to jot down some major thoughts I've come to accumulate within the past few months.

Separation, reunions, regrets, hopes, dreams, forgiveness, thoughts of which come and go in my mind, all of which never really stayed put. Though only one thing remained constant throughout these thoughts, and that is that hollow feeling we all feel: Loneliness, no, not the one you could satisfy by being with friends or family, not the kind of loneliness that you can get by with just anyone. It's a kind of loneliness you feel each time you go to sleep, wondering if someone thought fondly of you as you will of him/her. Lack of love? Perhaps...

It's a kind of loneliness wherein you'd come to curse the night sky for being so empty, as if the stars themselves refuse to appear or had just fallen from the sky. It's like a night with a full moon, only that the moon is covered by clouds.

The feeling haunted me for months on end, leaving me restless. All of which came to an abrupt halt just recently. Circumstances of said turnabout you ask? I cannot give in much information about it, for fear it might reach the wrong ears. No, I'm not afraid of it being heard by others, nor am I keeping something vengeful or hate breeding. And no, I did not sell my soul to the devil and sought flesh company nor will that ever happen in the future.

Bottom-line is: I stopped feeling it, due to a certain instance, a dream I might add.

I would like to add more but the bed seems so inviting right now, and the pillows look mighty delicious to lie upon. For now, I shall entertain my restless mind with dreams of which I hope I could recall. See you again in the Void.

As I slowly recall the day’s events, a disturbing thought crosses my mind. This day was of the same pattern as of those that precede it, and I thought to myself, will this cycle change as time takes the better of me? Will I ever arise over my former self’s shadow and break these bonds of restraint? Will I ever come back to my former glory or go through farther ahead than what I’ve already climbed? “Lazy, too lazy, no effort at all,” the eyes of those that watch over me clearly see the dilemma my heart faces. As of now, I’m wasting away the little moments of consciousness I have before I drown myself in sleep. I’ve been crawling under my own darkness, looking for the light. I’ve been crawling ever since I fell. I’m at the point of my life where I’m so engrossed into other things that a meager past time took almost my day’s entire event, the rest, I spent brooding over thoughts that other people might even consider useless and would be a waste of time. But why do I bother to think of things like love? I’ve been crawling too long in this darkness that I’m not even sure why I’m crawling. I’m being bounded by things I don’t have knowledge of. I know I have the power to break through, I know I have the power to stand up and turn on that freaking light. But I’m afraid of what I would see after. I’m afraid what the light might show. I’m afraid that maybe there’s a reason why the light was turned off. For all I know, this love I'm harboring might as well be my end. For all I know, it'll just make me more dejected as I already am. But I am hopeful and I shall give my entire best to break free from these bonds. I will be honest, I will be forward. I am not one to break promises, I am not one to make empty promises either. I may not be perfect, but I will make it up with determination so that I will see the light, her light. Maybe I am fitted for the darkness after all, for all it's worth, I can definitely see the amount of her splendor from here...

How much do we really fear the void?
How much do we hide the darkness within?
But for one such as me,
I find much clarity in the darkness,
For when one is shrouded in the shadows,
There they show their true colors.

I bid you all welcome to this place. Welcome to the nether end. It is in here that I find solitude from the light. I am your host, and I shall show you the many ramblings of a person, of thoughts perverse or enlightening, take your pick. One such as myself need not introduce myself for what really matters is not who I am but what I express or how I perceive things for that matter. I am not here to feed my ego, but I am here to articulate my thoughts that particularly piqued my interests and to take note of it. Prose and poetry of my making can also be found within this place, maybe artworks but do not hope for I am not skillful with the brush and pen. For now, I leave you with this short message as I need my sleep but I assure you a longer one will arise soon.

See you in the void next time.